1 Toddler + 1/4 Bag of Milk + a Dozen Eggs = Biohazard

My son is not lacking in creativity, zeal or initiative.

Nor is he burdened with an over-abundance of inhibition, worry or really a solid grasp of cause and effect.

We have learned that the following phrases are no longer innocuous:

– “Momma, I wanna make breakfast now”,
– “I want scrambled eggs today!”,
– “I want to make REAL cake!”, and
– “My milk is empty”.

No, instead, these have become calls to battle, horns proclaiming the looming onslaught.

Dearest and I recently watched “Sunshine Cleaning“, a movie about a cleaning service that cleans up crime scenes, and in it, they discussed the merits of various dry substances that can be spread on various liquids to make them easier to scoop up. I never, EVER, expected to be drawing parallel references between body fluids and raw eggs, and considering the relative absorption properties of paper towels vs. flour, on my knees on a linoleum floor at quarter to seven in the morning.

No one will ever say that I haven’t lived.

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1 comment so far

  1. Jen on

    As I sit and listen to a very tired boy, crying in his crib, knowing that he is overtired but fighting it all the way, it is comforting to know that we all have struggles and I am not alone. My glass of Malbec is helping me keep my sanity. Keep up the good work.


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