My darling despot

It’s been one of those marathon mornings. Two and a half hours of extremes – screaming, wailing, whining.

Bonhomme lobs “I don’t love you, Momma! You’re mean!” at me as he slams the door to his room after being told that in fact, he was NOT allowed to flip the frying eggs with the spatula on the real stove. Yup, that’s me, Mean Mommy, drawing the line at activities potentially resulting in bodily harm.

“Mommy, when I grow up, when I’m ten birthdays, I’m gonna drive a rocketship! And it will have a BIIIIIG red button, and I’m gonna bubjbjjjjzz it!” He tells me, as I strategically step  over the monumental mess he’s made of his Caillou memory game as a result of his tantrum. Yeah, this kid’s not in too much of a rush, is he?

I should be grateful, I suppose, that he generally only turns into Mr. Monstrous at home. Out and about, he’s stupendous.

“Grandpapa, you know that fusion power? It can power the whole world! Yeah! And it goes juhjuhjuhjuhjur (gesticulating wildly), and goes into the cooling tank, and smooshes all the teeny tiny adams togeder, and makes power! That’s what it does!” Grandpapa nods sagely, a bit wild about the eyes. His grandson is three and a quarter.

With other kids, Bonhomme is (mostly) generous, considerate, curious and kind. And a mini dictator only every other minute.

With other adults, he is unfailingly voluble, creative, funny and engaging. And with reminders, even polite.

With his parents, he is manipulative, dramatic, sneaky, extortionist and exhausting. At every point on the emotional spectrum, he is intense. Hugs so hard they knock me off my feet. Dismay so piercing that I’d opt to be a physicist if it meant I could invent teleportation.

He is a character – I’ve got no worries about his sense of self. But mine?  I’m not sure it’s quite up to the task. I know our job is to raise a well-adjusted, fully-functioning adult. The campaign is long, I realize. But the terrain is getting tougher, and I’m running on fumes.

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3 comments so far

  1. Moosilaneous on

    Yes, fumes, and wine. And the love of good friends. You may stumble, but we won’t let you fall.

    • Moosilaneous on

      Meant to add – awesome depiction of Bonhomme’s conversation. I can barely remember what I said five minutes ago, never mind whole discussions with the kids.
      Thanks for sharing, and your future self thanks you for documenting.

  2. gmomj on

    Try to keep your sense of humor.
    And always keep a cold beer in the back of the fridge.


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